Dale Jr: “Her words, I quote, ‘Saved her life!’ “
The beach is a peaceful, relaxing place. The repetitive crash of the waves against the shore create a space of calm. Raccoons stealing from tourists and the butt cracks of middle aged men waddling in the sand add a comedic value. It’s just a lovely place in general.
But, there are hazards on the beach. Jellyfish aren’t the best swimmers due to their lack of a brain. The colorful landmines are fitted with tentacles that can inject venom from thousands of barbed stingers. The sting causes immediate pain.
This isn’t your typical place for medical advice. But, today is special.
There’s rumors that urine helps with jellyfish stings. It worked on the famous episode of ‘Friends’. However, fairly universally, doctors say that urine does nothing.
According to NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt Jr and his wife Amy, the doctors are universally incorrect…
Dale Earnhardt Jr peed on his wife
“Now, this has been cleared by Amy,” Dale Earnhardt Jr opened the story, letting you know something special is coming via his Dale Jr podcast. “But, I shared this with some friends, some said I shouldn’t tell it, some said, ‘why not!’ “
“So, we’re out on the beach. Amy, acts like she steps on something, she comes hobbling out of the beach, up to the umbrella.”
“She’s like, ‘I got stung, by a jellyfish.’ She’s in pain. Bad pain.”
“She said, ‘Do you think that will work? If you tee teed on it?’ “
“So, there’s people on the beach. There’s a family 15 feet to our right, a couple 10-20 feet to our left. Down the beach, there’s more people. But, not right on top of us.”
“We maneuver a lot of our stuff, so we’re not in their line of sight.”
“Her words, I quote, ‘Saved her life!’ “
“She was in so much pain and she said it worked immediately. You can’t understate the pain of a jellyfish sting.”
Hiding the magic
Dale Jr explains how he kept the magic in private, “We were very creative. So, we have these chairs that are flat on the ground. So, I dug a hole in the sand in front of me. She stuck her foot down in it, I didn’t even have to move.”
“I peed on her foot and then I filled the hole in. No one saw anything. I’m sitting and she just put her foot right there in front of me.”
“I peed where it needed to go. We’re laughing like hell. I was probably laughing a little more, Amy was hurting.”
He concluded, “It worked! I’ve never done it. Just saying, if you’re ever in a situation, your wife, someone gets stung by a jellyfish, you’re going to consider it.”
It’s funny this story comes up this week. In a somewhat related note, I had a dream that I peed on my girlfriend’s couch on Friday. In my defense, I was actually aiming for the coffee table drawer. I woke up naked and realized it wasn’t a dream at all. Alcohol is bad.